
This retreat wasn’t about luxury or escape—it was about immersion. I carved out time to dedicate myself fully to one thing: embodying an archetype of divinity. Archetypes are powerful blueprints of possibility, maps of what we can become. But working with an archetype isn’t passive; it’s a full-body, soul-deep process that holds a mirror to all the places we’ve outgrown or avoided.
The retreat was intentionally semi-open. I disconnected from the outside world, allowing only those directly supporting the space to be present. This cocoon of devotion and support created a container where I could let spirit do its work. It wasn’t about perfection or results; it was about persistence—showing up to the process, even when it revealed the cracks I wasn’t ready to see.
Two profound lessons emerged from this retreat: trust and shame.
Rebuilding Trust
Trust is something I thought I once understood. But life brings shattering moments of what is known and revealed the parts of myself that I still don’t trust, in my decisions, myself and spirit itself. This retreat reminded me that trust isn’t static; it’s something we practice daily, moment by moment.
The revelations were not profound, it’s little steps. I began with the basics:
• I trust myself to inhale.
• I trust myself to exhale.
• I trust myself to stay present in this moment.
From there, I reflected on the day before:
• I trusted myself to wake up.
• To nourish my body.
• To engage in practice.
Slowly, these reflections grew into a larger picture. I began to see the years of accumulated effort—the challenges I’d faced, the lessons I’d learned, and the ways I’d continued to show up. Trust isn’t about erasing uncertainty or fear; it’s about remembering that you’ve navigated hard things before and that you’re capable of navigating them again.
But as I worked on rebuilding trust, I realised that something deeper was underneath my mistrust—shame.
Shame as the Shadow of Growth
Shame showed up in unexpected ways, as it often does when it’s time to learn something new. The willingness to evolve always comes with a risk: confronting the old and realising it’s no longer enough. Shame whispered, what if I’ve been wrong this whole time? What if I’ve misled myself and others?
This isn’t the kind of shame that’s fleeting. It’s the heavy, soul-level shame that says, there’s something wrong with you. It made me question not just my actions, but my identity.
At first, I responded the way I often do—with love and compassion for my past self. I honoured the older versions of me that had worked so hard to get here. But no matter how much love I poured in, the shame didn’t shift.
It wasn’t until I went deeper that I understood what shame was asking of me: gratitude. Gratitude for the teachings, the mistakes, and even the outdated beliefs. Each one was a doorway that brought me to this moment. Without them, I wouldn’t have the foundation to grow.
Shame isn’t here to punish us. It’s here to show us the dissonance between who we were and who we’re becoming; and in that dissonance lies the opportunity for growth. By thanking the past and letting it go, I created space for something new to emerge.
Moving Forward into the Year of the Wood Snake
I hope this reflection reminds you to trust in the small steps you’ve taken, especially over the past year of the Wood Dragon. Every effort, every lesson—whether it felt like progress or not—was necessary to move through the gates of the Wood Snake.
If you’re feeling unsure about the year ahead, know that trust doesn’t require certainty. It requires presence. A while back, I made a YouTube video on trust, and even now, revisiting it anchors me further into my faith in spirit and my path.
I don’t know exactly what the future holds, but I trust myself enough to move into 2025 with a better relationship with shame. When it shows up, I’ll remember that there’s a gem hidden in it somewhere. For me, that gem might be gratitude. For you, it might be something else. But I assure you, these powerful emotions are gifts if we allow them to be.
With trust and gratitude,
Jambo
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