A series of traumatic events not only sent me spiralling into an existential crisis but also unearthed unresolved issues I thought I had conquered or never knew existed. Anxiety became a frequent, unwelcome visitor, often overstaying its visit. Despite having over two decades of techniques at my disposal, I felt like I was wearing a necklace of skulls, akin to tantric deities symbolising the triumph over troublesome human emotions. But the human experience is meant to be challenging; stress is integral to our evolution.
During my formative years, emotional intelligence (EQ) was touted over intelligence quotient (IQ). My generation learnt to manage our nervous systems through down-regulation techniques. This worked for a while until we realised that those in power didn’t always act in our best interests. Regardless of where we stood in the economic or political spectrum, we were all cogs in a larger machine, giving our time for others’ benefit.
Then, global events like the pandemic, police brutality, and genocides shattered our sense of safety. No matter our socio-economic status, we found ourselves blamed for something, leading to increased separation and isolation, even in crowded rooms.
This brought me back to community spaces—substance recovery centres, mental health clinics, and community centres for LGBTQIA or ethnic minority groups. These spaces were sanctuaries where we came together to heal and grow. A pivotal moment in a cellular biology lecture changed my perspective: “Cells naturally navigate towards what is pleasant and avoid what is unpleasant.” This simple truth highlighted the deeply rooted organic processes within us.
How could my being, composed of countless single-cell organisms, work in harmony through a complex intercellular matrix and evolve into this miraculous existence filled with joy and awe? Enter Stephen Porges and his Polyvagal Theory, emphasising the critical role of co-regulation in maintaining and restoring nervous system balance. The practice of one person keeping watch while another falls asleep exemplifies the power of human connection in creating a sense of safety, improving sleep quality, and enhancing overall nervous system regulation.
Why Co-Regulation Matters
Porges’ work shows that co-regulation involves the reciprocal exchange of calming signals between individuals, which helps regulate their autonomic nervous systems. This practice activates the social engagement system, promoting parasympathetic activity and reducing stress. The presence of a trusted person keeping watch signals safety, allowing for deeper, more restorative sleep.
Benefits for the Nervous System
• Stress and Anxiety Reduction: Lowers cortisol levels and other stress hormones, promoting relaxation.
• Enhanced Sleep Quality: Facilitates deeper sleep stages, essential for health and nervous system function.
• Emotional Regulation: Provides a calming presence that helps manage stress and emotions.
• Strengthened Social Bonds: Fosters a sense of connectedness and emotional support.
• Balanced Autonomic Functioning: Promotes parasympathetic activity, reducing sympathetic dominance for better physiological regulation.
Teaching Co-Regulation Exercises
Because of these insights, I will be teaching a variety of co-regulation exercises. These will include partner yoga in its very gentle pranayama forms, gentle movement forms, and some double yoga forms. These practices have been truly exciting me as they bring community spaces together, allowing people to move beyond the confines of individual yoga mats. Through togetherness, social interaction, physical touch, and non-violent communication, we can enhance our personal and social well-being, creating a more connected and supportive community.
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